Female Friends

3 Simple ways to support your Self-Love practice

Alone we can do so little, together we can do so much

Helen Keller

As we all know Self-Love is radically important for our wellbeing and has a huge impact on our lives and those around us, however it is equally important to love and serve others.  We don’t want to get so involved in ourselves that we forget about the importance of having other people in our lives.

On embarking on my self love journey I realised that it is not just about learning to love myself in isolation, but a journey to share with others. The people we surround ourselves with play an important part in our journey and as much as it is vital to cultivate the relationship with yourself, it is important to cultivate relationships with others to support each other.  

The self-love we have for ourselves is expressed from within and mirrored back to us by the relationships we have in our lives.   We should of course practise healthy self-love but also practice giving, loving and serving others.

Here are 3 surprising ways that I found support on my journey to cultivating self-love;

1. Be part of a community

As women we are often fixated on being “super woman” and think we can do it all alone, however it is vital to our well being to cultivate loving, supportive and honest connections to stay motivated and on track.

I craved a like-minded sacred community to feel connection and a sacred space to share and express myself.  I was longing for belonging, to communicate how I was feeling, having someone to talk to who would just listen without judgement.  Knowing you are not alone is key to your self-love experience and community gives you just that.

Throughout life we’ll continue to  face trauma, heartbreak, disappointments,  twists and turns and having a  healthy support system where you feel safe and are able to voice and share how you feel makes all the difference. It helps us to rise and lift ourselves up in those dark and difficult moments.

Being part of a sacred community is so valuable and helps us to navigate life with more ease. Positive energy is contagious and is vital to our growth.  I truly believe in the power of community and coming together to support one another on the journey.

So, what are you waiting for?!  Join that yoga community in your area,  the expat community or whatever it is you love doing, find a supportive group to belong to.

2. Accountability partner

Having an accountability partner and checking in with someone emotionally and strategically is vital to our wellbeing and supporting our self-love journey. An accountability partner can be in the form of a friend, colleague or mentor, they serve as confidants, motivators and a way of keeping you in check.  

By surrounding yourself with the right people you can increase your level of commitment and motivation to your personal journey and and when the going gets tough and you need a listening ear you have that person to share with.

I suggest you choose someone who is non-judgmental and with whom you feel comfortable with to share authentically and from the heart, someone who you trust and who holds space for you like you do for them.  Someone who understands that relapse is part of the process and allows these moments to be part of the learning process. Important note: find someone you feel at peace with.

Not only will you and your accountability partner hold space for each other, but you will challenge each other to see the impossible as possible and become your Nº1 Fan’s, this is priceless!

3. Meaningful friendships

Whilst we need to be our own best friend before we can truly have authentic and healthy relationships, however we can’t hide away in isolation until we think we love ourselves enough to make friends, no one grows hiding away.  Loving yourself is a lifelong journey and not something that happens overnight and part of this journey is the relationships that we cultivate with others.

It is crucial to learn to let go of those people who have a negative influence on your life and focus on those that lift you up and bring positivity into your life, those are the types of people that will always be there and lift us up when we are feeling down.

True Friendship is magic and is meant to be enjoyable and thought provoking, not tense or anxiety provoking. As we grow and evolve our friendships will also change. Cultivating these relationships on a regular basis is fundamental for our overall well being and living a happy and content life.

So, I urge you to come out of hiding and start to really cultivate relationships with others in a positive and loving way,  to value your friendships, by giving time, honesty and trust and showing appreciation and love.

Here you have it,  my 3 ways to find support from others and connect with like-minded people on your self love journey.  Having a support system in life is so important, they help us to navigate through the hard times and celebrate the good, relieving stress and pressure when the going gets tough.  These relationships are the people who are there for you no matter what because they care about you and want you to succeed and be happy. They are your biggest cheerleaders and encourage you when you feel like giving up and celebrate you when you achieve your dreams and goals.

I definitely wouldn’t be where I am today if it wasn’t for the meaningful relationships I have established, the communities I belong too and my accountability partner. It doesn’t matter what phase you are at in your life, all these are vital to our wellbeing, happiness and growth.  

I would love to share the journey with you and invite you to join my Self Love Sisterhood community, a sacred place for women to share their journey, to help, inspire, motivate and support each other along the way.

Join the Self Love Sisterhood here:
facebook.com/groups/SelfLoveSistershood/

See you in there!

Lou Stokes

Lou Stokes

Lou Stokes is a style & confidence coach based in Madrid. With online 1-1 coaching she helps women cultivate confidence by developing their personal style. Email lou@loustokes.com to find out more or book a power call with Lou right now.

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