The secret to rocking your own style and how to do it


Self confidence is the best outfit, rock it and own it.

As soon as we hear the word ‘style’, our minds conjure up a ton of images. Catwalk models, celebrities, IT Girls, the perfect body, the perfect look… and immediately we think style is not for us!

YES, you can be into clothes. And NO,  you don’t need to be a catwalk model to have fun with fashion and create your own style.

Knowing the colours, silhouettes and pieces and how to create outfit formulas can seem complicated. But beneath it all, being self-confident is the key. How many times have we seen people in outfits that are perhaps questionable, but they have the confidence to pull it off?

I always tell my clients that it really doesn’t matter what you have on as long as YOU love it, it fits well and you feel empowered. The first step to rocking your own style is being confident in your choices and owning it all! 

What’s the secret?

I work with my clients on their inner world and confidence before we actually go to their wardrobe.  If you don’t feel confident and love all that you are, even the most amazing dress won’t make you feel good. Or if it does initially, somehow you will find a way to criticise yourself and start feeling bad again.

The secret to creating true style is to VALUE WHO YOU ARE! 

A woman who values, accepts, appreciates herself and loves all that she is, including her imperfections is oh so powerful! 

Once I started embracing my uniqueness and owning it with confidence, I feel more at peace with who I am and how I show up in the world. 

Confidence and a positive body image are both huge parts of our style’s  journey.  Here are 3 things you can start doing today to develop your true style.

1. Dress your best now, what are you waiting for?

Whether it is weight, money, moving or whatever story you’re telling yourself,  there’s no time like the present! The amount of people who contact me and say I will uplevel my style when I….. (fill in the blank).

Remember,  there will never be a perfect moment. Your style is a work in progress.

It evolves as you evolve.  It’s time to dress how you want now, even if that means moving slowly towards your style goals. The best time to start is now!

Your wardrobe should only contain amazing choices and the clothes that you truly love, that make you feel inspired, empowered and magnetic. 

To help you get aligned with your authentic style check out my article on cultivating your style story.

2. Step out of your comfort zone

With style, like many things in life, we can get stuck in a rut. We can train ourselves to step out of  the familiar and become more confident with style.  

Think of your comfort zone like a muscle.  You have to train it, otherwise it becomes flacid. It’s  just like style. if you don’t work at it becomes “bla”. I always suggest to my clients that they work towards expanding their style, until it covers a full spectrum of colours, silhouettes that they adore and outfits that make them feel vibrant and joyful. 

You can do this step by step. If you want to add more colour to your wardrobe, but are not ready to wear a full on fuchsia pink dress for example, then start by adding pops of colour with accessories, like scarves, earrings, necklaces or even lipstick.  

If you want to try something more bold, like a bright pattern, first mix it with a “go to” basic, like simple jeans or trousers.  Get used to seeing yourself differently and you can gradually step into your aspired style. 

This article gives some simple steps on how to make some simple changes to your style.

3. Let go of your hang ups

Your body is not an excuse to avoid embracing style. Cultivating your personal style in alignment with who you are will boost your confidence and will help you feel better about the way you look, leaving you feeling inspired and radiant. 

Become aware of your thoughts and how you are talking to yourself on a daily basis. I hear so many clients telling me they can’t wear certain items because of X, Y or Z.

It’s likely you’ve already internalised some of your style rules;  “I can’t wear that because…” “that doesn’t suit me because…” or “my hips look too big in those kinds of pants…”.

Notice these thoughts and train yourself to change them to more positive thoughts like “I am going to explore wearing this new colour today…” or  “I am going to embrace a new aspect of style and try something different”. 

Observe how do you speak to yourself when you are getting dressed in the morning or trying something on in front of the mirror? 

Ask yourself if you bully yourself, or are you speaking to yourself with love and kindness? 

Make self-confidence your best outfit

True confidence really does come from within when we can develop true love for ourselves and begin to appreciate our true worth, and imperfections. We are all just “imperfectly perfect!” 

Once I made the decision to stop trying to be someone else and own who I am and cultivate my own authentic style, shopping for clothes and getting dressed became so much more fun and way less stressful. 

My choice of clothes and looks may not resonate with everyone and that’s ok.  It’s my way of expressing myself and part of my own personal story.

And that’s what it’s all about. Every woman has her own unique style. Let it out, and let it ROCK!

If you are feeling stuck in a rut with your style and want some support on cultivating more confidence  join my facebook group. Or book a coffee chat with me to find out how you can develop style and confidence with my one-to-one coaching.

Lou Stokes

Lou Stokes
Verified Coach
Verified for professional standards and commitment to clients. Read more Close

Lou Stokes is a style consultant from London based in Madrid. With online coaching, she helps women around the world cultivate confidence by developing their own, empowering style. Email lou@loustokes.com or visit loustokes.com to find out more or book a power call with Lou right now.

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