3 Tips to nurture yourself through the “Everywhere and Nowhere” blues

Are you struggling with the “everywhere and nowhere” blues?

If you’re an expat, you probably know what I’m talking about.

This feeling of belonging “everywhere and nowhere” that leaves you wondering:

  • Why do I feel so RESTLESS?
  • Why do I feel so sad when my life is so good?
  • Do my relational styles to cultures, communities and customs need an upgrade?

Without apparent warning, the “everywhere and nowhere” blues showed up on my doorstep the day after my last birthday.

To celebrate my special day, I took the day off, slept in late, and treated myself to brunch. I wrapped the festivities by enjoying a delicious dinner with my husband in one of our favorite French restaurants.

Simple, sweet and sincere.

It was one of the BEST birthdays I’ve ever had.

BUT the very next day, I was ambushed by the “everywhere and nowhere” blues.

As I continue to build my life abroad, I’ve learned, that those of us who have embraced this lifestyle live and love in many places at once.

… and the EFFORT it takes to integrate all the gains and losses within the cultures, communities and customs that have shaped us can leave us feeling EXHAUSTED.

The moment of recognition

As I dealt with the “everywhere and nowhere” blues that showed up seemingly unannounced the day after my birthday, I realized it was actually the grief of my brother’s transition.

His birthday is the day after mine.

He passed away last year.

Growing up, it was our family custom to celebrate our birthdays together.

What appeared as sudden post-birthday sadness was actually an invitation to honor my brother’s memory, as well as embrace the freedom to choose a new birthday custom for myself.

And I was reminded that it’s my responsibility to create the experience I have in relation to everything and everyone in my life.

Tips to beat the blues

As you build your thriving international lifestyle, here are my 3 tips to nurture yourself through the “everywhere and nowhere” blues with healthy compassion and healthy detachment:

  1. Evaluate and celebrate all the lessons and blessings you’ve gathered while living among various cultures, communities and customs that have shaped you.
  2. Eliminate or reframe the relational patterns to cultures, communities and customs that are now outdated with grace and integrity.
  3. Exercise your responsibility to create the experiences you have in relation to everything and everyone in your life.

These practices are parts of my Personal Global Positioning System (GPS).

It’s a navigational tool that guides me through the glorious mountain tops and painful valleys of my globally mobile life. Supported by my Personal GPS, I tap into the joy, resilience and fortitude of fusing many cultures to clear what’s getting in the way of thriving.

Join us for a virtual retreat on Wednesday 5th June

If you’re feeling mired in the middle of the  “everywhere and nowhere” blues, then I’m so excited to share this with you!

I’m taking part in an event called Love + Culture Haven, a virtual retreat celebrating love across borders. There will be some great speakers sharing valuable wisdom about navigating intercultural life and international relationships.

Including yours truly!

In my talk “RECALIBRATE Your Personal Global Positioning System (GPS)”, I walk you through my framework to inspire you along your unique path of fully owning ALL of who you are, where you’ve been and where you’re headed.

Monère Renoir Wanner

Monère helps global citizens navigate the difficulties of establishing a new life abroad and create thriving international lifestyles.

Add comment

Relationships

Community blog