Reasons you’re not allowing yourself to dream big

What’s stopping you from dreaming big?

There are many reasons why we don’t give ourselves permission to dream big and declare what we truly want. 

Behind all of these reasons are the things we tell ourselves that prevent us from going for bigger and better things in life. Here are some of the common ones.

1 – Carrying the world’s suffering on your shoulder

You’re concerned about the injustices in the world, and this means you’re not allowed to want more for yourself. 

In your head it can sound like: 

“I am not allowed to want a better life because I have nothing to complain about. I had no major life trauma, no disasters, and my standard of living is comfortable. I have food on the table, and a warm home. There are so many people suffering, that wanting more is selfish and not right.”

Sounds familiar?

This was my thinking pattern for so long!

Some people have it better than you and some are less fortunate. Although it hurts to see all the world’s suffering, you are never going to fix all of that.

As Katie Byron says, it is not your business, it’s God’s business (meaning reality). We cannot control the world and its problems are way too heavy to carry. But it is such a hard feeling to shake. I would find myself saying things like:

“How is it not my business? What world am I raising my kids into? I need to do something to protect them.”

But I came at peace with wanting to have a better life. 

Wanting to improve how we live is not a crime, it’s natural. Most people given the choice would choose more money, more joy, and more time to pursue passions or spend with loved ones rather than work all hours.

What’s wrong with that? You don’t have to settle with ‘just okay’. 

2 – Money is greed

Believing that money equals greed is a common way to block dreams from seeing the light of day.

In your head it can sound like:

“Wanting more money means taking it away from other people. Rich people are greedy, I am not like them. ”

A lot of our beliefs around money come from the meanings and images we automatically attach to words like ‘rich’ and ‘wealthy’ (cue images of yachts, mansions and golf courses). So what would ‘rich’ really mean, for you, in the context of your life? 

What I realised is that, when you ask yourself why you desire more money, it’s not about ‘being rich’. It’s all about what you want to do with that money, which could be things like:

  • raising the standard of living for your family
  • giving back to your community
  • working on passion projects
  • helping more people in need
  • paying for private care for aging parents
  • buying higher quality, longer lasting clothes
  • buying a holiday home to enjoy with extended family

So, what really drives your desire for more money?

Here is a poem from Robert Holden that set me free completely:

“It is because the world is so full of suffering, that your happiness is a gift. 
It is because the world is so full of poverty, that your wealth is a gift. 
It is because the world is so unfriendly, that your smile is a gift. 
It is because the world is so full of war, that your peace of mind is a gift. 
It is because the world is in such despair, that your hope and optimism is a gift. 
It is because the world is so afraid, that your love is a gift.”

When you pursue goals with integrity and honesty, you can own your desire to make more money.

3 – I am not worthy

Pushing away dreams is easy when you believe you’re not worthy.

In your head it can sound like:

“I don’t deserve this”,
“I am incapable of having this, this is only reserved for a special few”, 
“They are so lucky for having what they have”, 
“Who am I to pretend I can have that”, 
“I have kids and this is not compatible”…

…the list goes on and on.

I was there for a long time. I know what it feels like but I also know now how much better I started to feel when I believe that I control my life and that I get to do what I want. 

It is such a beautiful feeling. Now, when I hear someone talking themselves down and playing the victim, it frustrates me because I know there is another way.

You can get out of it too, I know it’s possible. I wish I had a magic wand to light everybody up with this clairvoyance.

Your mind is tricking you into making your thoughts your reality. But you can change your thinking, opening your mind up to a world of possibilities.

Realising that you really can have what you dream of can be scary, because big changes take time, effort and commitment. But believe me when I say that the fear diminishes the moment you claim what you truly want in life.

So do yourself a favour and give yourself permission to dream big!

‘Permission to dream big’ exercise

Take at least ten minutes for this and sit in a quiet and comfortable place. Light candles, spray some essential oils, cover yourself in a blanket, anything that makes you feel good. Grab a cuppa. You can even put some gentle music in the background.

During this time, I want you to remove all the limitations, all the stories and allow yourself to fully claim what it is that you want.

Keep the results for yourself or share them in the comments (this is so powerful). It doesn’t have to make sense or be rational, everything is possible. No limits!

Take a pen and paper, and let your thoughts flow freely…

Go back to the 5 year old you, and answer the following questions:

  • Where do I want to live? With whom?
  • If a genie appeared and gave me one wish, what would I ask for?
  • What do I want to wake up feeling like every morning?
  • How much money would I like to make in a year?
  • If I could get any job, which one would I go for?
  • Where would my holiday destination be?
  • Who do I want to be? 
  • What do my personal relationships look like?

If you feel a little stuck, answer what you can, and go back to it daily.  The more you do that exercise, the more the dreams appear.

Struggling to dream, to clarify what you want? 

Book a chat with me to see how I can help.

From me to you:

It is because the world is so full of apathy, that my drive is a gift. My gift is to inspire you to live your best life, to own your story and accept all that you are. 

Alice Chepeau
Verified Coach
Verified for professional standards and commitment to clients. Read more Close

Alice Chepeau is a certified transformational life coach helping parents to flourish without sacrificing themselves. Focus on you first and the rest will follow. Find out how; email or book a free consultation here.

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