5 Self-Love practices to help you release the struggle for perfection

Yes, I know, the self-love thing is a popular topic of conversation right now. It seems like it’s the answer to everything. To be honest most people have a confused perception of what self-love really is.

Self-care is even more important for us as women. We put so much pressure on ourselves to be perfect – to look the part and have the so called perfect life. Day after day I see so many women trying to do it all perfectly and look hot whilst doing it. Constantly striving to be that “perfect” woman and to tick all the boxes that society imposes on us; the perfect body, the perfect house, the perfect career, the perfect children… the list is endless.  

Where did we get this idea that we would be happy if everything was “perfect”?

I, too, struggled with the perfection trap for way too long. Even now – in my darkest lowest moments – the only things that can pull me out of the abyss are my self love practices.

I came to the realisation that to feel sexy, whole and complete as a woman is not about what you wear and your external beauty. It’s way deeper than that.

The benefits of practicing self-love

When you consistently practice self-love, you will:

  • Reveal your inner beauty and who you are as a person.
  • Understand what makes YOU feel good and sets your soul on fire, no matter what anyone else thinks.
  • Care for yourself and accept who you are even on your bad days.
  • Love yourself even when you are at your worst.
  • Cultivate an intimate relationship with yourself.

All this makes you shine in your own unique beauty.

Self-love is radically important for your wellbeing and has a huge positive impact on your life and those around you. Self-love is not only about taking a bubble bath every now and then, it’s building a healthy relationship with yourself that takes practice and commitment. It is not something you reach, its a lifetime adventure and a constant practice.

Think about how good it would feel to have a positive inner dialogue and actually feel good enough and totally in love with who you really are… rather than constantly battling against yourself.

If you feel like you don’t know where to start, here some are some ways to inspire you to cultivate your own love story.

1. Meditation

This is a life-changing tool and one I highly recommend to anyone who works with me.  If you meditate everyday you will receive an abundance of benefits. Apart from connecting to yourself and tuning in with your body and your feelings, you will experience an improved mood and emotional intelligence. You will start to listen to yourself and what you need. Anxiety and stress decrease and you become a happier more relaxed person, sounds good, right?

2. Practice gratitude

Gratitude is one of the most powerful human emotions, however we often overlook it. We get out of the habit of feeling grateful for who we are and all we have in our lives. Being thankful for what you have sheds negative thoughts patterns and your life dramatically improves. Write a gratitude list of 10 things you are grateful for every morning. Watch how you create more abundance from having an attitude of gratitude!

3. Love your body

Treating your body with love will empower you, boost your self esteem and give you more energy.  Be intentional and conscious with what you put into your body, how you move your body and how you feed yourself. Not only with what you eat but also your thoughts. To nourish and care for our bodies with whole and soulful food is a powerful way to practise self love. Also the way in which we move and exercise – move your body in a loving and kind way. Don’t over-exercising or be harsh with your body. By becoming more loving with your body you’ll feel good from the inside out and exude confidence.

4. Do the things you love

Often we get to caught up in the things we “should” do. Take time out to do the things you “love” to do and the things you are good at.  Whether it is cooking a delicious meal for yourself and others, maybe it is going hiking in nature or lounging on a hammock reading an inspiring book, whatever it is, do it! By doing the things we love it boosts our endorphins and our self esteem making us feel good about ourselves. Make a list of the things you love to do and incorporate them into your life.

5. Detox your wardrobe

People underestimate the impact that cleaning out your closet has on you.  Not only will you feel more organised and less stressed every morning you go to get dressed but it will have a positive effect on your mind.  Detoxing your wardrobe is a spiritual process and an act of letting go. It is not just getting rid of things that you no longer wear. It’s being honest with yourself and asking yourself whether these items serve you and make you happy, and looking at why you want to keep them or throw them away, it’s digging deep  and observing yourself.

So there you have it, my 5 self-love practices  to help you feel more whole and complete instead of chasing after “perfect”.  By learning to love and accept ourselves we can transform the inner critic and our insecurities into empowerment and ultimately transform our lives.

Some days not everything is always achievable for whatever reason. Maybe you didn’t do your morning exercise because you were running late for a meeting. Don’t beat yourself up and know that tomorrow you will be back on track. I have learnt to accept and not judge myself and know that not every day is “perfect” but small consistent steps take you to great places.

Are you ready to take the first step?

In my She’s Magnetic signature program we dig deep on the inside to help you to understand yourself more. We look at what is holding you back from having the most enriching love story of your life.

If you are currently struggling with perfectionism and are feeling stuck, frustrated or overwhelmed, know that there is a way out.  I’m here to help so let’s hop on a call.

Lou Stokes
Verified Coach
Verified for professional standards and commitment to clients. Read more Close

Lou Stokes is a style consultant from London based in Madrid. With online coaching, she helps women around the world cultivate confidence by developing their own, empowering style. Email lou@loustokes.com or visit loustokes.com to find out more or book a call with Lou right now.

Add comment


Stay in touch
with Lou

For news and offers directly from Lou Stokes, simply sign up below.