How to become your own style icon

If you’re not comfortable in your own skin you won’t be comfortable in your own clothes.

Iris Apfel

Audrey Hepburn, Victoria Beckham, Emma Watson… There are certain women in the public eye praised for their effortless sense of style. 

We look to them as examples of how we wish we could be – moving through the world with ease and confidence, magnetising all those around us.

What makes a style icon? 

You may even know someone personally who fits the profile of a style icon – someone who carries off their own unique style effortlessly.  What special characteristics do these people have in common?

  • They don’t follow style trends.
  • Whatever they choose to wear seems to click into place.
  • They know intuitively what works for them. 
  • They pave their own way.

I’ve discovered that this isn’t a gift we are either born with or not. Every woman can learn to be her own style icon.

To be a true icon you have to have style emanating from you. And you have to have figured it out on your own and have a point of view, a perspective and be able to translate it in your own individual way.

Chloe Sevigny

When our style is in disarray

When we’re struggling with self-doubt we tend to look outwards for examples to copy.

I did exactly that.  Whether it was what to eat or what to wear, there was a season in my life when I was constantly looking for answers. 

So I would follow the latest trends, not just fashion but wellness trends too. Trends that didn’t even feel like the right fit for me, but I keep forcing it because it was what everyone else was doing.

At the core of this search was a desire to discover my authentic self.

I realised that I could become my own icon and decide for myself. From the clothes I wear, to my exercise plan, healthy eating and my spiritual life. And you can too.

Be your own style icon

I believe in looking at others for inspiration but ultimately being your own icon.  Looking to others for ideas is great, but needing external references for validation is giving your power away. 

Having your own style means authenticity and owning who you are. Each body and person is different and style is not just about your clothes and your body shape, but also all about your mind and emotions.

I created the I.C.O.N. system to demonstrate what goes into being your own icon.

  • Inner life
  • Confidence
  • Owning the skin you’re in
  • New You, and your next level magnetic life.  

Here are some steps to take towards discovering your unique style….

1. Go inwards

Becoming  your own icon needs deeper levels of self understanding to build self awareness. One of the best ways to do this is to meditate.  

Get to know yourself just like you would with a friend. Start by asking yourself what do you like? What inspires you?  What aspects of yourself do you love and appreciate? 

Apart from meditation, I also like to go on solo trips, or out to dinner on my own, or out in nature to spend quiet, reflective time alone.  Cultivating time alone can be uncomfortable and confrontational at first, however with time you will notice the benefits and how empowered and inspired you feel. 

When you feel great about yourself on the inside, it doesn’t matter what dress you put on. 

2. Accept and love your body

Loving and accepting our bodies is not always an easy task as we live in a society that is constantly telling us what the “beauty standards” are. 

A powerful way to accept and love your body is by shifting your perspective from how you look to focusing on how you feel. The more you can nurture your body through taking care of yourself, healthy eating, exercise and rest the more you will appreciate and be grateful for all your body does for you. 

This will seriously change how you “see” yourself. Truly loving your body means seeing yourself as a whole.  When you can love and embrace the skin you’re in you’re well on your way to being your own icon.

3. Create your own authentic style from within

When we know and accept ourselves deeply, we are more likely to make style choices that click into place. Because true style comes from within.

We are all DIFFERENT.

Not everything works for everyone.  If some things work for other people but don’t resonate with you, it’s OK. In fact, that’s the point. Experiment and try, but ultimately listen and respect what feels right to you.

Part of becoming your own icon is living and dressing in a way that corresponds to you, your life, and the life you aspire to.

To understand more on how to create your style story check out my article here.

Respect your decisions and trust your intuition and you will soon be rocking your own unique style.

If you need some support or guidance on how to cultivate your own style, let’s have a coffee chat or you can join my private facebook community.

Lou Stokes

Lou Stokes
Verified Coach
Verified for professional standards and commitment to clients. Read more Close

Lou Stokes is a style consultant from London based in Madrid. With online coaching, she helps women around the world cultivate confidence by developing their own, empowering style. Email or visit to find out more or book a call with Lou right now.

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