Lou Stokes

What does your style say about you?

“Personal Style comes from within. It’s when the woman, her individuality and spirit come through. She uses clothes to express who she is and how she feels”

Diane Von Furstenburg 

Have you ever thought about what your style says about you? 

Or more importantly what you are saying to yourself with the way you dress?

Personal style is not just about fashion and function. Your personal style exposes your personality, your attitude, your inner world and your energy. It is a life-affirming expression of your character and spirit.

What you wear is a true representation of how you feel on the inside and how you present yourself to the world.  A unique language that allows you to express yourself, transmit ideas and opinions. 

The thing is, you may not be consciously aware of what you’re communicating to the world by the way you dress, especially if you’re the type of person who grabs the first thing available each morning.

We can easily slip into style habits that don’t serve us well. With this in mind, maybe it’s time to do a style review, to become aware of what you’re saying to the outside world with the things you wear.

Here’s an exercise you can do to understand your style type and what you’re communicating to others.

Firstly, let’s take a look at a few examples of common style types

Style type: Only ever wearing neutrals and no accessories
Could mean:  You are afraid to draw attention to yourself

Style type: Wearing the same style from 10 years ago or from your youth
Could mean: Clinging to the past through your clothes

Style type: Wearing baggy clothes too big for your body
Could mean: You’re afraid of being seen

These are just some examples of the power of what we wear and what we may be communicating to ourselves and the outer world. 

The worst clothing is the kind that tries to ignore or hide where or who you are, or the kind that shows you didn’t pay attention to your body/age/situation … Any clothes that prohibit you from being who you are send the wrong message.” 

Dr Baumgartner

Wardrobe review time

Now open your wardrobe and look at the clothes you wear. What are your recurring themes? 

Review the following aspects:

Colour palette – are the colours you wear mostly dark, or the same colour?
Shape – mostly shapeless or fitted?
Textures – do you wear a lot of soft loose knits or stiff structured shirts?
Patterns – are you addicted to plaid? Or you have no patterns in clothes?
Footwear – do you mostly wear one kind of footwear eg. or trainers, or flip flops?!
Repetitiveness – how many versions of the same thing can you see, eg: 6 pairs of skinny jeans, 7 black tops, 4 anoraks etc.

What is your most stand-out recurring theme?  

What do you think this communicates the outside world? What signals are you sending? What message are you sending to yourself? 

What would you like the message to be instead?

Share your results in the comments section, if you dare!

Yes, you can be stylish

So many of my clients say to me “I wasn’t born with style”. The truth is no one is born with incredible style sense.  Having good style takes time, and it requires a healthy amount of self-reflection and inner work.  

Our internal programmes, self limiting beliefs, values, personality and lifestyle reveals the blueprint of our powerful, authentic image. Without fully understanding the inner parts of yourself, there would be no real uniqueness to your personal style! 

Create your style keywords

After reflecting on exercise above, think about in your dream world, what would your ideal style look like?  How would you like your clothes to make you feel?

Once you have identified the feelings you want to evoke with your dream style, think of 3 words that identify your style and how you want to feel. 

For Example: 

1. Confident

2. Powerful

3. Creative 

Once you have your keywords you can start to cultivate your new style and message. Check out this article for more tips on how to cultivate your own style.

Every day you have an opportunity to express your individuality and reflect your personality through your style. So, remember the next time you get dressed, dress for how you want to feel not for how you feel. 

We get to choose what we wear and how we show up. So have fun with your style, play and experiment, don’t take things too seriously and don’t let your limiting belief’s get in the way of you being your stylish self. 

Learning to express yourself through your personal style from your core is something that we must cultivate, like I said no one is born with it. If you need guidance on how to use the language of clothes to express yourself, book a coffee chat with me today.

Lou Stokes
Verified Coach
Verified for professional standards and commitment to clients. Read more Close

Lou Stokes is a style consultant from London based in Madrid. With online coaching, she helps women around the world cultivate confidence by developing their own, empowering style. Email lou@loustokes.com or visit loustokes.com to find out more or book a call with Lou right now.

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