Bring confidence, positivity, motivation and energy back into your life.
There’s no getting away from it, as you enter into your 40s you are statistically entering the halfway point of your life. It’s a chance to reflect on achievements and regrets, the paths taken or not taken and to hopefully gather together all your wisdom and personal growth and take it with you into the second half. You’re going to need it.
When women hit their forties big changes can occur physically, mentally and emotionally. There can be a lot going on from so many angles.
The kids are growing up and their teenage hormones are kicking in causing you plenty of angst. You might be eager to make a ‘mumback’ with work now that they are older, as you had a dynamic, successful career before the children came along. But the industry has changed, your contacts have moved on and so you feel out of touch and unworthy. Your confidence is seriously low.
As 45-49 is the most common age bracket for divorce, you could find yourself single again. You would like to get back on the dating scene and pump some love back into your life but it’s so daunting. At the same time, your parents are getting older and rely on you more and more.
Physically, your waistline is expanding because it takes so much more effort to keep your weight under control. Your metabolic rate decreases as you get older, so you can’t get away with it like you used to in your twenties. On top of that you’ve got the M-word rearing its ugly head.
You might not get the menopause until well into your 50s, but it’s letting you know it’s on the way nevertheless. With all this going on your self-confidence and self-belief can go right out the window.
So to stay mentally, emotionally and physically strong you have to find the tools to practice some self-care to keep you balanced, focused and ready to take it all on. One of the best and easiest ways is by doing positive daily affirmations.
Daily affirmations are positive statements to encourage motivation and self-belief. Words can have such extreme power. Affirmations help to challenge your lack of confidence, low self-esteem and enable you to overcome negative thoughts.
Do positive affirmations work?
Lou Stokes, Style & Confidence coach, swears by them:
Affirmations have changed my life and continue to do so. My advice to anyone who has just started or is sceptical, keep doing it. Transformation doesn’t happen overnight; it takes time to rewire your thought patterns and limiting beliefs. Trust the process and show up everyday for yourself.
Said on a daily basis – and said with conviction and belief – you can alter your negative thoughts and emotions and turn them into positive ones. They can make you believe in yourself and in turn boost your confidence dramatically. You can then incorporate that into your daily life, be it with work or home life, relationships and even with a life goal, i.e. weight loss.
How to write your own daily affirmations
To create affirmations personal to you, you need to identify what is causing you to think negatively or giving you anxiety issues and turn them into positive affirmations for you to use. It will motivate you to act and believe in yourself and what you want to achieve. For example, if your confidence is generally at an all time low, you can start by saying ‘I feel more confident and empowered each day.’
The best ways to do positive affirmations
The best and most effective way is to say your affirmation out loud to yourself in front of a mirror. You can incorporate this into your daily routine, i.e. in the morning when you are brushing your hair or putting on your make-up.
Or you can do it before you go to bed at night, again when you are brushing your hair again or taking off your make-up. The key is to be calm and relaxed while doing it. You can say more than one affirmation and repeat them as many times as you like, whatever may be relevant to you at the time and whatever you have time for.
You can even write down or type your affirmation which can help you engage your mind and internalise them if that works better for you. Or could record yourself and play back the affirmations on your headphones if you don’t want anyone to hear you, lying quietly somewhere with your eyes closed. Dedicated affirmation apps like Innertune make this really easy – you can even add subtle background music or beats.
If you have a meditation routine, you could incorporate listening to your affirmation playback or repeat them out loud like a mantra.
The more you say them, the more you enforce positivity. Aim to focus on what you want rather than what you are trying to get away from. For example, rather than saying ‘I want this stress to go away,’ you say ‘the stress and tension is melting away from me.’
As time goes by and your confidence has reached new high levels you will be able to say ‘I’ve so got this!’ (And maybe mini punch the air at the same time.)
Affirmations for low self-esteem:
- I am good enough.
- I am special to the world.
- I am beautiful inside and out.
- I love and accept myself.
Affirmations for confidence building and self-belief:
- I am in full control of my life.
- Every day I become more confident and powerful.
- I know my potential and what it can give me.
- There is so much power and strength within me.
Affirmations for finding love and a new relationship:
- I deserve to be happy and loved.
- I am loving and lovable.
- I am worthy of love and deserve the best.
- My heart and intuition will guide me.
Affirmations for a new challenge in your life, i.e. new job or back to work:
- I am competent, smart and able.
- I am braver and stronger than I realize.
- I can handle any obstacles in my path.
- I have huge potential and believe in myself.
Affirmations for physical challenges, i.e. weight loss and fitness:
- I am totally focused on achieving my weight loss goal.
- I control my weight with healthy eating.
- I work out to feel good and fit.
- My body is a gift, I treat it with love.
Affirmations for personal growth:
- I continue to learn and grow.
- The past doesn’t define me.
- I appreciate the lessons life has taught me.
- There is no place in my life for disrespectful people.
Remember to trust yourself and keep it going – the best of you is yet to come.
Photo: Caroline Veronez @veronezcaroline