We’ve all heard it before: learning a foreign language is tough. But what about when you’re 40, 50, or even 60? Is it harder? Are there any perks to being a bit more… seasoned?

At the ripe age of 46, I embarked on a journey to learn Spanish. Now in my fifties, people tell me I’m “fluent” (more on that later). 

What a ride it’s been. 

Sit tight as I’m about to spill the beans on what it’s like to become bilingual when you’re old enough to remember life before the internet.

The fluency mirage: chasing a moving target

First things first: fluency is like that mirage in the desert that keeps moving further away the closer you get. Or like a magnet of the same pole that shoves off when you get within two centimetres of  it.

I learned the hard way that you need to define your own “fluent,” or you’ll be chasing it forever.

At first, I thought I’d be fluent when I could navigate the labyrinth of Spanish bureaucracy without breaking into a cold sweat. Achievement unlocked!

But was I satisfied? Of course not.

Then it was being able to hold my own in a group conversation without feeling like a verbal toddler. Check! 

But still not enough. 

Next, it was understanding political debates and stand-up comedy without feeling like an alien who’d just landed. Ok, I haven’t quite reached this level yet, but the point is I had reached fluency at the previous two stages but kept moving the goalposts.

Pro tip: Forget “fluent”. Define the scenarios where you want to use your new language and make them your goals.

Want to order a meal without pointing at the menu like it’s a game of linguistic charades? Great! Want to debate the finer points of nietzschean philosophy? Maybe set that as a stretch goal.

The myth of osmosis

“Just move abroad and soak it up!” they said. “It’ll be easy!” they said. Well, let me tell you, my brain turned out to be about as absorbent as a wellington boot.

I moved to Madrid with visions of myself chattering away in flawless Spanish within months. I’d be the life of every tapas bar, regaling locals with my witty anecdotes and impeccable grammar. Instead, Spanish went in one ear and promptly fell out the other, leaving me nodding and smiling like a bobblehead in conversations I barely understood.

Turns out, immersion is great, but it’s not a magic bullet. It’s more like being thrown into the deep end of a pool – yes, you’re surrounded by water, but that doesn’t mean you can suddenly swim like Michael Phelps. 

Adults need to put in the work – our brains aren’t the sponges they were at six years old. The pipelines have all been laid, and our neural networks are as set as a British stiff upper lip. 

So, back to school I went. 

It wasn’t just night school with fellow Brits anymore – it was full-on proper Spanish school. That’s when the real journey to fluency began. 

Midlife mayhem: when life gets in the way

Remember those carefree students who came back from a year abroad speaking like natives? Yeah, don’t compare yourself to them. They didn’t have to juggle a mortgage, a job, kids who need help with their homework and maybe an elderly parent or two who keep asking why you’re “wasting time” learning a new language at your age.

Stress is the enemy of language learning. It hijacks your focus like a stealthy pickpocket, leaving you patting yourself down wondering where your concentration went. Let’s face it – midlife comes with a buffet of stressors.

I noticed that when emotions were running high, my Spanish took a nosedive. It was like my brain could do “emotions” or “Spanish,” but not both simultaneously. Trying to express complex feelings in Spanish when I was stressed was like trying to write an essay with alphabet soup – I had all the ingredients, but they kept slipping away before I could form a coherent sentence.

(Pro tip: If you can have a heated argument in your new language without reverting to English or interpretive dance, you’ve hit the fluency jackpot.)

Be kind to yourself. Acknowledge the extra challenges you’re facing. It’s not you, it’s your circumstances. Ok maybe it’s a little bit you as well but let’s move on to the positives of being older when it comes to language learning.

The midlife advantage: old dogs, new tricks

Here’s some good news! As a midlife learner, you’ve got a secret weapon: experience.

All those years of problem-solving? They come in handy. I cracked the Da Vinci code of Spanish verb conjugation with a spreadsheet and sheer determination. Take that, 20-year-old backpackers!

And let’s talk about cognates – those words that sound similar in different languages. As an older English speaker learning Spanish, I had a treasure trove of vocabulary to draw from. It’s like getting a head start in a race you didn’t know you were running. 

Then there are mnemonics. Forget flashcards – with mnemonics, you only need one flash! 

Mnemonics work by piggy-backing new information onto your existing neural network (you don’t have to lay any new cables!). You create mental images linking the new word with its translation.

The more life experiences you have, the more material you have for creating memorable mental images. For instance, I learned the Spanish word “crispación” (tension) by imagining someone walking on crisps instead of eggshells. The crunchier and more sensational the image, the better it sticks.

The identity crisis: Who am I?

Here’s something they don’t tell you in those cheery language learning apps: speaking a new language can feel like becoming a different person. 

At first, it was unsettling. 

I felt like I was play-acting, saying things I’d never say in English, in ways I’d never say them. My ‘authentic self’ felt like it had been exiled to a linguistic Siberia, replaced by a bumbling impostor.

But as time went on, I realised this wasn’t an existential crisis (thank god, I’d already had the midlife one) – it was an opportunity. Learning Spanish in my mid-forties became the most unexpected reinvention.

Suddenly, I was someone whose concept of time and space was different (“now” can mean anything from “immediately” to “maybe next week”), who could casually drop what I once thought was the naughtiest swear word without batting an eye.

I discovered a whole new side of myself – one that gesticulates when speaking, who isn’t afraid to get into heated debates about the best way to make paella, and who has strong opinions about the use of the subjunctive mood. Who knew?

The bottom line

Learning a language for the first time – in midlife – is a journey full of surprises, frustrations, and unexpected joys. It’s not always easy, but it’s always an adventure. So if you’re thinking about diving into a new linguistic challenge, I say go for it. You’ve got more tools in your arsenal than you realise, and the person you’ll become along the way might just surprise you.

Who knows? Maybe we’ll run into each other at a Spanish comedy club someday, laughing at jokes we finally understand.

¡Hasta entonces, amigos!