3 Ways Getting Divorced Can Affect Your Children

Divorce is a stressful process characterized by conflict and financial challenges, even when former spouses maintain an amicable relationship. While adults struggle with these difficulties, children often bear the heaviest emotional burden. Unable to control or influence the significant changes in their lives, kids may experience depression, behavioral problems, and other issues. This impact on children is frequently overlooked, despite them being as affected—if not more so—than their parents.

Ways Your Children Are Affected by a Divorce

1. Changes to Routine and Plans

One of the most obvious ways that divorce can affect children is the necessary changes to their time and existing plans you might have had as a family. Canceled family time, weekends away from their primary parent’s home, and other kinds of upheaval are a big part of the divorce process. Even with a correct and thoughtful parenting plan in place, these kinds of changes are inevitable, and kids are the ones who are most impacted by this part of the divorce process.

From holidays spent every other year with each parent to time away from their friends to struggles over access to after-school sports and other programs, children can really feel the pinch when it comes to scheduling time for the things they love when they are living through a divorce. It can often feel like neither of their parents is thinking about their needs, particularly for teens who are involved in their parents splitting up.

The more thoughtful your parenting plan, and the more communication that you have with the children who are affected by it, the more likely it will be that your kids will feel a minimum of stress surrounding routine and plans changing due to divorce. A skilled legal team will have the children who are involved in the divorce in mind as these parts of the divorce process are completed.

2. Impact to Holidays

Children are often very passionate about holidays, but the holidays that they used to celebrate as a family will be changing due to the divorce. Christmas, birthdays, and celebrations of parent’s birthdays are often laid out in the parenting plan. An every-other-year rotation is standard for these holidays, but there can be flexibility in the parenting plan if it is requested in advance.

Kids who are dealing with divorcing parents will often have to celebrate each holiday twice, once when they are with their primary parent and once with the other custodial parent. While this might sound great on paper, it is often a source of stress and disappointment for children who are living through a divorce. This is especially true if they are no longer able to go on vacations or enjoy other kinds of holiday celebrations like they used to.

Holidays have to be split up in some way in the parenting plan, but your lawyer can work hard to ensure that your child or children are still able to celebrate their favorite special times of the year in a way that makes them happy. Being amicable as spouses throughout this part of the process is key to ensuring that your children are not impacted negatively by determinations in the parenting plan with regard to holidays.

3. Changes of School, Religion, or Location

Divorce can cause a lot of upheaval for kids within their family unit, but it can also include things like changes of address, a move to a new school, or a move to a new church or religion. These kinds of alterations to the routine of children can be stressful and can make them pretty depressed during the divorce process. While it might not be possible to avoid some of these changes related to a divorce, it is good to be aware that your child might be impacted by these factors as the divorce process continues.

Many parents work hard to keep their children in the same school, going to the same church and at the same address or close to it. However, if you do need to relocate and start fresh as a result of your divorce, you need to be sure that your kids feel included in the conversation about these changes. They might not be able to select their new school or their new address, but making sure that they feel like they are in the loop will make it much more likely that they will thrive during and after the divorce.

Protecting Your Children From Stress is Part of the Divorce Process

Your divorce lawyer should have the welfare of your children in mind as they craft a divorce settlement that takes care of you and your kids’ needs. Being sure that parenting time, child support, and all the other aspects of your divorce are correctly structured can help to prevent stress and worry from making your children miserable throughout your divorce.

Having a skilled legal team working hard on your parenting plan and the divorce process as a whole can ensure that your kids are not negatively impacted by the divorce process. You will want to be certain that you think about things like holidays, potential relocations, and other possible stressors as you are working on the divorce process. Your children will thank you for putting their needs ahead of yours whenever possible.

Photo by Kindel Media