Flicking through Time magazine in the library the other day, I noticed an article about alternatives to drinking, suggesting strategies like rediscovering hobbies, trying out ice baths (because apparently voluntary pain is the new relaxation?), meditation, and spending the money you save on treats.

All sound advice, but what was missing was glaringly obvious – the social enjoyment factor. All the suggestions were things to do ALONE.

For many of us, alcohol isn’t primarily about personal relaxation. It’s woven into the fabric of how we connect, celebrate, and bond with others. It’s that Friday evening pub crawl with colleagues, the wine shared over dinner with friends, the celebratory champagne toast, or the beers around a barbecue.

In Madrid, where socialising is like breathing, it goes hand-in-hand with alcohol.

Somewhere along the way in human history, alcohol became shorthand for “now we can relax and have fun together.” And when we decide to go alcohol-free, the biggest challenge isn’t giving up the taste or even the physical sensation – it’s figuring out how to maintain that same sense of social ease and pleasure without the booze.

If you’re sober-curious or trying to cut back, you’ve probably wondered: how do I still kick back with my mates, enjoy some banter, or even go a bit deeper with them, without booze?

How do I keep the same energy in conversations without wine in hand?

How do I join in the collective unwinding when everyone else is drinking?

How do I handle those moments when everyone at the table clinks glasses and I’m holding… sparkling water?

I’ve been there myself, exploring the non-alcoholic landscape far beyond the realm of Diet Coke (because let’s face it, there’s only so much of that one can stand). And I’ve discovered that finding alternatives isn’t just about what you drink – it’s about retraining your brain to access that relaxed, social enjoyment without alcohol as the trigger.

So here are 21 ideas to unwind, connect, and genuinely enjoy yourself socially without alcohol – some for your existing friend groups and others to help you forge new connections with like-minded people.

Making a long-term change in the way you socialise with your friends

1. Socialise in the mornings

Schedule morning activities. For the over 40s, this idea goes down particularly well! Meet for breakfast, morning hikes, or coffee instead of evening drinks. The morning timing naturally eliminates the expectation of alcohol, and you’ll be amazed at how much more meaningful conversation flows over a good café con leche.

2. Walk!

Make nature walks or city walks the norm with your friends. Active outings naturally lend themselves to water and sports drinks rather than alcohol. Make it about discovering new aspects about your town or your environment – you’d be surprised what you don’t know. Personally speaking, walking through Madrid at night observing the drinkers is just as enjoyable as taking part in the drinking.

3. Start a creative project together

Collaborative projects create meaningful bonds. Try designing and making outfits, painting a mural, writing songs, scripting and filming, or working on interior projects like upgrading a living space where you have an excuse to go out exploring the shops for ideas.

4. Start an allotment together

It would be a long-term commitment, but for close friends, this is a game changer. Club together to create a space for growing your own food, and where you can hang out regularly and natter. This will be a space where your friends can come and go, like creating your own local bar experience (“Where everybody knows your name”). Make sure you have a shed big enough for a few chairs to sit in and protect you all from the weather.

Easy alternatives for socialising at home with friends

Sometimes it’s just about getting into the habit of doing new things. Why don’t you start the ball, or the dice, rolling…

5. Organise a regular board game night

Board games create natural social flow and banter. The focus shifts from drinking to playing, and you’ll be surprised how quickly three hours can fly by without anyone thinking about refills. Modern board games like Codenames, Ticket to Ride, or even classics like Pictionary or Scrabble are perfect for this.

6. A tea or coffee gourmet tasting experience

Just like wine tastings, you can explore the complex flavours of different infusions or single-origin coffees. Serve small bites that complement the flavours, and you’ve got a sophisticated social experience without alcohol.

7. Have a mocktail competition

Instead of the usual wine night, invite friends over for a mocktail competition. Everyone brings ingredients for their signature creation, and you vote on the best.

8. Prepare a spread together

Everyone participates in creating the food, and each can bring some ingredients. The focus is on the shared experience and delicious food – not drinking. Make it about small dishes, meze or tapas style, combining hot and cold so that it’s easier for everyone to get involved.

Creating your own social experiences

9. Start your own alcohol-free supper club

If you can’t find what you’re looking for, create it! Invite a mix of friends and ask each to bring someone new. Set a theme for each gathering – yes it could be an international theme, but how about recipes from an old cookbook (Fanny Craddock’s Sherlock Holmes Cookbook anyone?) – something to add a touch of humour.

10. Create a “try new things” group

Form a small group committed to trying something new each month – pottery, paddleboarding, star-gazing, whatever! The novelty creates natural excitement and conversation without needing alcohol to “make it fun.”

11. Create a breakfast club

Morning gatherings naturally avoid alcohol pressure. Start a weekly or monthly breakfast club where you and friends meet at different cafés or homes to enjoy morning meals together. The early timing eliminates any expectation of drinking, plus you’ll discover fantastic breakfast spots in your area.

For making new connections

12. Join a Meetup group

Platforms like Meetup.com have exploded with alcohol-free social groups. Search for terms like “sober social,” “alcohol-free activities,” or groups centred around specific interests like hiking, photography, or board games. These groups are specifically designed for connection without drinking.

13. Try fitness communities

From running clubs to cycling groups or rock climbing gyms, fitness communities naturally bring together people in alcohol-free settings. The shared experience of exercise creates instant camaraderie, and these often lead to coffee or meal outings afterwards.

14. Look for Saturday schools, classes or workshops

Some places of learning also act like a social hub where you can take course after course and connect with various people. When I lived in London, I used to love going to The School of Philosophy and Economic Science where I took various classes from Plato to public speaking, making friends along the way. They had a lively canteen too (with no alcohol!)

15. Knitting for the nattering

Knitting and crochet circles have become really popular with all ages, and usually take place in cafés. The emphasis is surprisingly not on learning (or even talking about) yarn crafts, it’s about conversation and connecting.

16. Join a discussion group or book club

Libraries, bookstores, and community centres often host discussion groups that meet in alcohol-free settings. These provide built-in conversation topics and attract people interested in thoughtful exchange rather than drinking.

17. Explore cultural events and institutions

Museums, galleries, theatres, and cultural centres offer events like exhibition openings, talks, or performances where the focus is on the art or culture, not drinking. These attract diverse crowds and provide built-in conversation starters.

18. Attend wellness events or retreats

Look for wellness days, workshops, or mini-retreats in your area. These might include yoga, meditation, breathwork, or holistic health topics. The people you’ll meet typically prioritise wellbeing and are often open to alcohol-free socialising.

19. Look for alcohol-free spaces

Regular café settings sometimes host events like quiz nights or live music. But there is also trend emerging for alcohol-free bars and social spaces.

20. Join a community garden (for the food!)

Community gardens or food co-ops create recurring interaction around something other than alcohol. Plus, you get delicious produce or meals as a bonus!

21. Join a church

If you’re spiritually curious, maybe now’s the time to explore the churches around you. But beware of the eucharist – it contains alcohol!

But what about my drink?

Of course, in many social situations, you’ll still want something interesting to sip on. Here are my top, grown up alcohol-free alternatives:

5 grown-up, non-alcoholic drinks to change your drinking habits

The bottoms-up line

The social aspect of drinking is perhaps the hardest to replace – that sense of belonging, of letting go together, of creating memories through shared experiences.

But as someone who’s navigated this territory, I can tell you that finding ways to socialise comfortably without alcohol is liberating. Not only do you wake up without hangovers, but you build authentic connections and learn to rely on your natural personality.

What are your thoughts? Have you found other ways to unwind and let go with friends without alcohol? Share in the comments below!

Photo by Alexy Almond