Adam WickingsWhen I retired from the NHS, where I’d held Director and COO roles, I did so with great pride in my achievements and the differences I’d made for patients, the public, and staff. However, I was also somewhat anxious about how I would continue to find enough purpose in my life to remain proud. The main route I’ve taken to meet this need is through coaching and mentoring. I could have chosen to write poetry, return seriously to academic philosophy, or help restore and maintain old ships—any of which would have been important in my eyes. Instead, I made a conscious, well-thought-out decision.
I don’t look for purpose outside of myself. Let me put my cards on the table: I’m an atheist. I am sure that there is no God, no creator, sadly no Loch Ness monster, no life after death, and no Nirvana or other state of mystical enlightenment. I have no problem with others believing in these things that I think are false, and I will passionately defend their right to such beliefs and (within some boundaries) to speak loudly about them. Why do I mention this?
I do so because my certainty about our place in the universe has helped me be clear about creating purpose and meaning in what I do. I don’t need to look beyond the real world to find beauty or meaning. I see that sunsets are beautiful even though they’re just light refracted through clouds; puddles can be very beautiful when streaked with petrol. Similarly, we can have purpose and truly meaningful lives even though we’ll be forgotten within a few generations, our record of achievements blown away like yesterday’s clouds.
These questions are quite often relevant to my coaching work with clients. When clients have been concerned with matters of purpose or meaning (for instance, in career or CV work), I have found that their religious and philosophical beliefs were often unhelpful and distracting. Just as belief in some great beauty beyond the stars can make us appreciate less the beauties around us, the view that there’s a greater purpose than our own can prevent or distract people from finding and owning true purpose themselves, thereby hindering them from having lives as meaningful as they might. The beliefs that purpose or meaning come externally from somebody (or something) else are clearly helpful to many people, but they can obscure our routes to discovering important purpose in what we do.
For most clients I have worked with, their sense of purpose and meaning comes from what they deliver, achieve, and can do in the future. This may not be limited to work; many times in sessions, we’ve unpacked great achievements in people’s private lives. However, I have found that few people can speak powerfully and confidently about their achievements and skills. Like the CVs I used to receive when recruiting, most clients undersell themselves, don’t own their key strengths, and come across as almost boring when face-to-face they’re definitely not. In fact, I have felt privileged when coaching to discover how fascinating and impressive my clients are; you get to know someone quite deeply when you coach them for a few months.
I don’t work with clients to create impressive, beautifully crafted CVs they can post out. Many other specialists offer advice on format, length, colour, whether to have a picture, etc. – I do not. Instead, my work focuses on the “CV” that clients carry around inside and can speak to. I help clients to better understand who they are, their achievements, strengths, and unique selling points, and then to be able to speak about those with confidence and integrity.
If your sense of meaning (and purpose) comes largely from what you achieve, what you deliver, and the differences you can make in life, then your CV should probably tell that story. Here’s what I’ve achieved and am proud of, these are the skills I used and most definitely have, and this is the sort of leader, manager, and person I am.
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